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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29450) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, working as a waitress, I was asked by a customer, yet again, how my baby was doing. I don't have a baby, but I do look very similar to my 25-year-old coworker, who's a new mom. People confuse us all the time. Unfortunately, my crush, who was standing nearby, doesn't know that. FML

#20504501
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29388) - you deserved it (2435)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (4424)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28713) - you deserved it (3650)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (6010)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after being together for only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership for my birthday in a card that said, "So u can b hott! Luv u!" FML

#20513755
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28529) - you deserved it (5528)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (3897)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28334) - you deserved it (5696)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML

#20505090
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28192) - you deserved it (8096)

On 02/13/2013 at 3:31pm - misc - by nosebleeder - Sweden

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27930) - you deserved it (3218)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27412) - you deserved it (2898)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML



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