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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, two days before I'm due to fly out to Russia on my first vacation, I caught my extremely over-protective mother trying to force the family dog to eat my passport. FML

#20518765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (1583)

On 02/23/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Aluksnes)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (2280)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25348) - you deserved it (1490)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24904) - you deserved it (2687)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24901) - you deserved it (2043)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (2092)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, after half a year of flirting back and forth, I went to a fancy party thrown by the guy I really like. He met me at the door and introduced me to everyone as, "the lovely Meghan". I thought I finally had a chance, until he introduced me to his girlfriend of five years. FML

#20516708
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (3744)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Meghan (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

#20517316
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24292) - you deserved it (2196)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by PoorMe - United States

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24089) - you deserved it (3456)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23959) - you deserved it (1504)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

#20517490
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23831) - you deserved it (2443)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (21632)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)



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