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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
168 comments

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (3646)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38179) - you deserved it (5705)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, after supporting my girlfriend for over a year in her endeavour to lose weight, exercise more, and eat better, my now-slender girlfriend dumped me. Because now she can do "so much better". FML

#20518428
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (2696)

On 02/23/2013 at 3:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (2958)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36015) - you deserved it (1543)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

#20508810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35974) - you deserved it (1823) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

#20513405
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34346) - you deserved it (1804)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33747) - you deserved it (3261)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33707) - you deserved it (3405)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (7833)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

#20508072
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33138) - you deserved it (2183)

On 02/15/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by parentalissues (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32745) - you deserved it (1965)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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Wednesday 15 May 2013

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