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Monday 11 February 2013

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today I met mah new class . There are two Kevin Smiths . Niether will agree to a nickname , they have the same hair color , an there middle names both start with J . They have told me to call them Kevin 1 an Kevin 2 . They both want to be Kevin 1 . FML

#20512577
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I felt frisky... so I did my hair and puttd on make-up and some lingerie. I walkd into the living room...here my husband was playing a video game. He glancd up... said... "Oh... fir fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes fir him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (8310)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because mah husband thinks ( expiration dates r fir pussies. ) FML

#20511774
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36946) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today I checkd out a "confessions" page fir university. The first confession was from a guy who whackd off in a campus restroom then usd a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. looool FML

#20501884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (3100)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Taday I workd up mah courage and took an elevator 4 the first time in mah life . Unfortunately , it was also mah first time getting trappd 4 several hours in an elevator . FML

#20507764
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36568) - you deserved it (3646)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to mah dorm room whila it was snowing haavily. I saw a girl in a whaalchair trying to gat up a slippary inclina. Baing a good parson, I askad to halp. I'm a pratty waak guy, and I couldn't push har up. Sha whaalad away crying bacausa sha thought sha was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36500) - you deserved it (5558)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

yesterday I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast an there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away , mah mother yelled , "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for u muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36323) - you deserved it (3202)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attack that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what one of us is alway shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today , I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store cuz I would not show him my "boobies". A man cummed up to us and said I should do wat my nephew wanted. FML

Today,hile at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessd to bieng interestd in !! My mom decidd to shout, ( IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?! looool ) Embarrassd, I desperately told her to be quiet !! She groundd me fir bieng ( rude ) to her !! real FML

#20508609
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (3422)

On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, after being in the hospital fir 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, mah girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me an send me straight back home. real FML

#20511268
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35666) - you deserved it (2602)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Taday I went to te market to buy some groceries. Before I got even alf-way ome, a guy stormd toward me, pulld wat lookd like a knife, an casd me around te block wile screaming tat e'd kill me for sleeping wit is wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin ere. FML

#20506765
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35505) - you deserved it (2231)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, after more than a year of bieng single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, an looool after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even mah dream-lover is a dick. FML

#20510821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (5379)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)



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