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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21456) - you deserved it (1582)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (5561)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

#20491153
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (13167)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20543) - you deserved it (8156)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I was washing the dishes at work. I had to pee really bad but first I wanted to finish the dishes. A coworker jumped out from behind the ice machine. I screamed like a girl and pissed my pants. FML

#20492292
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20273) - you deserved it (3637)

On 02/03/2013 at 10:50pm - work - by klovemachine (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20166) - you deserved it (2900)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (2463)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18966) - you deserved it (36126)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17181) - you deserved it (4728)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

#20497647
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15979) - you deserved it (25343)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada

Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML

#20487332
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14642) - you deserved it (37167)

On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12417) - you deserved it (49117)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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