Friday 1 February 2013 
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Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24466) - you deserved it (6399)
On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States
Today, I discovered the true meaning of being scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needless to say something emerged from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (1741)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by wilks311 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24328) - you deserved it (2749)
On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)
Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24284) - you deserved it (2622)
On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24144) - you deserved it (2419)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24011) - you deserved it (1947)
On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23994) - you deserved it (1530)
On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up to a voice-mail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23952) - you deserved it (1113)
On 02/03/2013 at 11:22am - work - by TheBaconater - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (3035)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23784) - you deserved it (1622)
On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (4596)
On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States
Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (2456)
On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after three and a half years of working dead-end jobs with a bachelor's degree, I got a call from a potential employer in my degree field, who wanted to set up an interview. The problem: the interview is across the country, and I'm too broke to pay the travel expenses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (1809)
On 02/08/2013 at 7:19pm - work - by goingnowherefast (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Friday 24 May 2013
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