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Tuesday 29 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (1513)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (1970)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23065) - you deserved it (8867)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (4452)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22640) - you deserved it (1909)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML

#20490841
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (1526)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

#20489268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22172) - you deserved it (7053)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (34829)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML

#20490478
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (34232)

On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

#20487790
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (1961)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

#20494070
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (33058)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21622) - you deserved it (7648)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

#20494713
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21587) - you deserved it (8011)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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