Saturday 26 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17085) - you deserved it (5801)
On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17016) - you deserved it (29658)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you deserved it (1824)
On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16456) - you deserved it (24084)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I decided to change my hair color. After waiting in anticipation, I took a shower to rinse out the dye and reveal my new, blue hair. Rinsing revealed not only blue hair, but blue skin caused by the watered dye running over my body. I now look like a smurf, and it's not coming out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14602) - you deserved it (28871)
On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13513) - you deserved it (21164)
On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)
Today, on my way to work, I hit a pothole about the size of Alabama, bending my wheel and flattening my tire. After changing it and having to explain myself to my furious boss, I went back on that road in my other car to take a picture of the pothole. While looking for it, I hit it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11842) - you deserved it (26687)
On 01/31/2013 at 6:34am - money - by Well... fuck me sideways and call me Eustace (man) - United States (California)
Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11648) - you deserved it (33686)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9348) - you deserved it (38812)
On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (28944)
On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8849) - you deserved it (38305)
On 01/22/2013 at 6:39pm - love - by Kasey103 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8764) - you deserved it (16678)
On 01/30/2013 at 11:02pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8697) - you deserved it (19509)
On 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by 3some? uh, no (woman) - Dominican Republic
Monday 20 May 2013
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