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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31166) - you deserved it (6091)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31082) - you deserved it (6069)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

#20486186
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30668) - you deserved it (2117)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30608) - you deserved it (2352)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

#20483291
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (2046)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30559) - you deserved it (12365)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (6826)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

#20479262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (5405)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (2417)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (3300)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29959) - you deserved it (3916)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML

#20477009
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29942) - you deserved it (2888)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

#20481750
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (2102)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)



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