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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (3616)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (478)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (3875)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24553) - you deserved it (8214)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I needed to get a hair cut, so my boyfriend recommended I see his mother, who is a trained and licensed hairdresser. Despite the fact that she hates me, I thought she would be mature and do it nice. She butchered my hair like a toddler does their Barbie, and insists that it "suits me". FML

#20474272
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (7602)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by parmetries - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (2890)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24465) - you deserved it (6399)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

#20477568
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24383) - you deserved it (2018)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24305) - you deserved it (1900)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24284) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML

#20475358
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24251) - you deserved it (7025)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

#20479072
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (1859)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:53am - animals - by Ear Invasion - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

#20480640
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24061) - you deserved it (3045)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)



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