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Tuesday 15 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (2672)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30322) - you deserved it (7397)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30250) - you deserved it (5240)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30218) - you deserved it (2590)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30091) - you deserved it (11583)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29967) - you deserved it (7135)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29645) - you deserved it (14342)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29574) - you deserved it (3134)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (5696)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

#20470602
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29042) - you deserved it (2202)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:03am - work - by CollegeChef (woman) - Australia

Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML

#20468290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28846) - you deserved it (6401)

On 01/19/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)



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