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Sunday 13 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (6610)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28770) - you deserved it (3154)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28649) - you deserved it (7157)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

#20469761
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28597) - you deserved it (7309)

On 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by megean c.l. (woman) - United States

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

#20466217
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28583) - you deserved it (2939)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML

#20467580
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28532) - you deserved it (3063)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28491) - you deserved it (8782)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28256) - you deserved it (7426)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28172) - you deserved it (4553)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28084) - you deserved it (4442)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML

#20463766
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (2003)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:03am - work - by Beva (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (7549)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)



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