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Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (7667)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30927) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

#20464662
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30773) - you deserved it (2637)

On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML

#20467580
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30686) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)

Today, due to technical problems, I had to call the company's IT-support as my computer went totally haywire. I explained via phone that I couldn't access anything. The support then tried contacting me by e-mail and got upset with me when I didn't answer. FML

#20463766
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (2218)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:03am - work - by Beva (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (7875)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30533) - you deserved it (5829)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

#20466217
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (3100)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:21pm - love - by TheOtherWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

#20456464
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30508) - you deserved it (2464)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (4791)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30455) - you deserved it (9121)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30004) - you deserved it (6747)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)



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