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Wednesday 9 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (5294)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26917) - you deserved it (3261)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (2821)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

#20447616
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (5831)

On 01/08/2013 at 5:40am - animals - by Coldandshoeless (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (2323)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (5903)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (4000)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (4605)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25256) - you deserved it (34186)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23515) - you deserved it (3044)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you deserved it (9342)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (1890)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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