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Tuesday 1 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discoverd after 11 months, my grlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discoverd this by walking in on her and one of my friends. fat FML

#20448085
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57342) - you deserved it (4318)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by finallyready (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

today I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. looool And replying. FML

#20436012
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52634) - you deserved it (3980)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, roommate stumbld in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, an passd out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, an go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, an makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51759) - you deserved it (3988)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend of four yeres broke up with me by writing on my bathroom looool mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51594) - you deserved it (4559)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I WAS CLEANING ONE OF MAH DISABLED CLIENTS BECAUSE HE POOPED HIMSELF, SO I STARTED TO UNDRESS HIM FIR A SHOWER. I TOOK HIS DIRTY DIAPER OFF AND SET IT ON HIS BED, THEN I BENT OVER TO TAKE OFF HIS SOCKS AT WHICH POINT HE PUT THE DIAPER ON MAH HEAD LYK A HAT. FML

#20438439
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51190) - you deserved it (4734)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I have been looool for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with mother, she yelld, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48078) - you deserved it (7205) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss ( borrowd ) my prescription sunglasses off my desk!! She crashd her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay 4 the damages!! FML

#20447961
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48052) - you deserved it (2525)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, mah husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today hile buying paint I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told mehat a nice young lady I was. Then her boss cummed over screamed at her fir being lazy and fred her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45532) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today during te countdown to midnigt I looked fir ma girlfriend so I could kiss er as 2013 began. I found er just in time to see er making out wit some guy se swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45423) - you deserved it (3243)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight... the guy sitting next to me pickd an eyelash he found on my face... stard at it fir a few seconds... and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42817) - you deserved it (2432)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

2day I overeard my moter telling my sister tat se expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently , I ave no concept of wat "marriage" really means. My usband and I just celebrated our 7t anniversary , wile my moter is planning er 5t wedding. FML

#20438192
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42671) - you deserved it (2034)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today I got into an accident on motorcycle. When I told wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex 4 two weeks she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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