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Tuesday 1 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, both my car an my father's car were broken into . They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, an multiple items of clothing . What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash . FML

#20443271
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (4806)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. looool FML

#20444015
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19996) - you deserved it (3387)

On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend calld me anti-social. To prove him wrong I textd one of my friends. She textd back, "Who's this??" big fat FML

#20442068
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (7170)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learnd that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learnd this first-hand when mah 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18894) - you deserved it (6696)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

today I bought myself a pair of looool beautiful , hand-crafted earring with lighthouse on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouse look lyk dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. mega FML

Today, I saw Les Misérables . I was singing along to one of the songs when looool the guy next to me dumpd his soda over my head and told me to shut up . FML

#20447311
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17364) - you deserved it (94240)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

today I found a ring box in the pocket of mah boyfriend's pantshile doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me an said, ( Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right? ) mega FML

#20446658
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (46533)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, during dinner, mah mum asked y I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was cuz mah girlfriend had cheated on me!! At some point during mah venting, I asked y this stuff always seems to happen to me!! My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." real FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (5758)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today,hile at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convincd I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15991) - you deserved it (32160)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't ave a air tie... so I used a tong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daugter. I trew on my clotes... drove to pick er up... went to te store... and went fir ice cream... tong still in my air. mega FML

#20438564
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12841) - you deserved it (42165)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today...hile talking to one of my parents' friends... we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his frst tooth there... the only response I could come up with was... ( Oh my gosh... I lost my vrginity there! ) FML

#20440379
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11805) - you deserved it (41192)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, IN AN ELABORATE PLAN TO FINALLY MEET MAH CUTE NEIGHBOR, I CONVINCED MAH FRIENDLY MAILMAN TO SWITCH UP OUR MAIL SO I'D HAVE AN EXCUSE TO MEET HER. AFTER I DELIVERED HER MAIL, I WAITED 4 HER TO MENTION THAT SHE HAD MAH MAIL, BUT SHE NEVER DID. I EVEN SAW HER TAKE IT OUT OF HER MAIL BOX.

#20446490
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11655) - you deserved it (34069)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I startd charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognizd my iPhone as an MP3 player an startd playing the audio from the porn video I watchd before we left. Everybody hered. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (39069)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States



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