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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML

#20420365
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28035) - you deserved it (3090)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

#20428520
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (3526)

On 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm - misc - by say dump him and i'll kill you (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27505) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27426) - you deserved it (8265)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

#20423262
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26804) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:05am - health - by ugh - United States (Ohio)

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

#20431369
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by imcold - United States

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26539) - you deserved it (1881)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you deserved it (5890)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26324) - you deserved it (8028)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML

#20430634
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/29/2012 at 8:01pm - work - by nose hurts (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26036) - you deserved it (1975)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25926) - you deserved it (3005)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

#20430388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25651) - you deserved it (3530)

On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)



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