Sunday 30 December 2012 
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Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (26120)
On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8301) - you deserved it (22229)
On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7840) - you deserved it (23916)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States
Today, I unknowingly used my shampoo thinking it was leave-in-conditioner. While walking to work, it started to rain. I started to produce suds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7548) - you deserved it (14059)
On 01/05/2013 at 10:59am - misc - by nomegusta (woman) - United States
Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7547) - you deserved it (17033)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7398) - you deserved it (22549)
On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7038) - you deserved it (30009)
On 01/02/2013 at 10:01am - misc - by AmberHavoc - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6831) - you deserved it (34298)
On 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46) - you deserved it (22105)
On 12/28/2012 at 3:14am - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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