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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

#20442962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15509) - you deserved it (5519)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:04pm - misc - by moronforadad (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

#20444015
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15471) - you deserved it (2864)

On 01/05/2013 at 7:06pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14463) - you deserved it (5949)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14404) - you deserved it (33723)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML

#20443271
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14182) - you deserved it (3507)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

#20420733
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13435) - you deserved it (23388)

On 12/25/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I unwrapped my present and, to my surprise, I had gotten a repair manual for my truck. Apparently, my parents are "Tired of seeing that piece of shit in front of our house." FML

#20423026
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11901) - you deserved it (19106)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

#20427324
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11647) - you deserved it (29350)

On 12/28/2012 at 3:14am - misc - by Anon - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

#20438564
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11301) - you deserved it (38762)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML

#20440379
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10626) - you deserved it (38790)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

#20418077
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10254) - you deserved it (35803)

On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)



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