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Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML

#20411999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22351) - you deserved it (2499)

On 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by judge not, ye cunt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (2876)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

#20409045
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22210) - you deserved it (8902)

On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)

Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML

#20405855
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm - misc - by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - United States (Arizona)

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

#20412922
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (7525)

On 12/22/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20853) - you deserved it (5301)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML

#20411951
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (5222)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20686) - you deserved it (4185)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19954) - you deserved it (16051)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19866) - you deserved it (33365) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19448) - you deserved it (6891)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19136) - you deserved it (25503)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17837) - you deserved it (49698)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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