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Friday 21 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

#20409045
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22040) - you deserved it (8892)

On 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Canarias)

Today, I noticed my wife put a bumper sticker on our car that says "Cowboy butts drive me nuts." I've driven that car to work every day. FML

#20405855
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (2785)

On 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm - misc - by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - United States (Arizona)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

#20414233
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21444) - you deserved it (5669)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:19pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML

#20412922
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20990) - you deserved it (7500)

On 12/22/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, after nearly a week of awful pain in my right lung, I finally went to see a doctor about it. When I mentioned my history of lung problems and suggested it could be pneumonia, he told me to "leave the diagnosing to the professionals" and ended up claiming I have acid reflux. FML

#20411951
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20699) - you deserved it (5214)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:41pm - health - by fucking fuck it fucking hurts (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

#20422121
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20667) - you deserved it (5283)

On 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by FuckMyEyes (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (2139)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML

#20404919
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20578) - you deserved it (4172)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19815) - you deserved it (33240) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

#20410599
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19336) - you deserved it (6873)

On 12/21/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Insane Guy (man) - United States

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

#20407705
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18993) - you deserved it (15650)

On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18466) - you deserved it (24401)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17739) - you deserved it (23232)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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