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Thursday 20 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84180) - you deserved it (25948)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59722) - you deserved it (4085)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

#20427017
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59186) - you deserved it (4238)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58683) - you deserved it (10306)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54918) - you deserved it (7363)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

#20413271
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52372) - you deserved it (4715)

On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50898) - you deserved it (10638)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50765) - you deserved it (3556)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50575) - you deserved it (4762)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49114) - you deserved it (26739)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

#20414298
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49038) - you deserved it (6196)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by orgasmicriding (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46636) - you deserved it (3681)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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