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Friday 14 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34675) - you deserved it (4104)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34657) - you deserved it (9462)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

#20399775
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (8368)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (9201)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

#20401697
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33983) - you deserved it (2526)

On 12/16/2012 at 3:31am - love - by ghost? - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

#20402543
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33946) - you deserved it (3550)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm - love - by Miki (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML

#20399736
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33778) - you deserved it (6151)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

#20406748
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33349) - you deserved it (19133)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by ayye_its_nikki - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33220) - you deserved it (17065)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32505) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (8172)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States



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