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Today, mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us an says to mah date, ( Girl, u can do so much better. ) Hearing this, mah date looks at me, nods, gets up an walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
2day I had been trying to text mah girlfriend all day, but no reply . After a while, I became worried so I called . She picked up and said, "Can't talk, busy." Not even a minute later, mah best friend says to me, "Dude, tell your girlfriend to leave me alone . She's been texting me all day." mega FML
Today, It's Been 13 Months Since I've Been Living In The States. I've Been Calld A Nazi, Askd If We Have Electricity In Germany, An Been Made Fun Of The Way I Speak With Mah ( German Accent ), The List Goes On. I'm Not Even German, I'm Danish. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told mehat it was; a moldd dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parentshen they askhat I got. FML
Today, I Was Sleeping On An Airplane. I Dreamed That I Was Running Mah Hands Up And Down Mah Friend's Leg Sexually To Creep Him Out. I Woke Up And I Realized That I Was Running Mah Hand Up And Down The Leg Of The Old Man Sitting Next To Me.
Today I told mah boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious he's been sereching fir high-calorie foods fir babies. FML
Friday 27 March 2015