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Sunday 9 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45137) - you deserved it (3004)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41965) - you deserved it (2584)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40880) - you deserved it (2664)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (3178)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38180) - you deserved it (15703)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37913) - you deserved it (4320)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37779) - you deserved it (3910)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

#20195064
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37419) - you deserved it (2091)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (9669)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML

#20402543
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36740) - you deserved it (3814)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:57pm - love - by Miki (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't spend the day with me as he had his grandmother's funeral. Lonely, I went shopping and I bumped into his mum having lunch with his 'dead' grandma. FML

#20401697
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36631) - you deserved it (2759)

On 12/16/2012 at 3:31am - love - by ghost? - Australia (Western Australia)



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