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Friday 7 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, cuz I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice kind beautiful talented funny sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41820) - you deserved it (2775)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, It's Been 13 Months Since I've Been Living In The States. I've Been Calld A Nazi, Askd If We Have Electricity In Germany, An Been Made Fun Of The Way I Speak With Mah ( German Accent ), The List Goes On. I'm Not Even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41778) - you deserved it (2577)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

today I was slapped acros the face by a grl in the waiting room at the dentist's office!! She thought I was taking a picture of her breast with mah phone!! I was smilinghile reading other people's FMLs!! FML

#20189568
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today , ma pregnant girlfriend gave me back te ring I'd used to propose wit a week ago. Her reason? Se only said yes cuz se was worried te real fater of te baby wasn't going to stick around. mega FML

#20192033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38021) - you deserved it (2429)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, mah hand hit his shoulder and I dropped mah phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, mah dad was staring at us from outside. He still appear to think I was giving him head. fat FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (3745)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp after catching me admring a photo of a bikini model which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her . FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (1968)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

TODAY, MY CRAZY PSYCHOPATH OF A NEIGHBOR SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT, ( SO, ABOUT YUR SEX LIFE. ) I'VE BEEN SITTING ERE 4 20 MINUTES STARING AT IT BECAUSE I'M TOO SCARD TO OPEN IT. FML

#20189915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (3584)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today I Found Out Mah New Girlfriend Is A Screamer. This Would Normally Turn Me On Except She Sounds Like She's Bieng Murdered With A Rusty Fork. Mega FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today... I went down on mah boyfriend fir the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement... an I thought it was working really well... until he sighed... ( For fuck's sake... it's a dick... not a shotgun. ) an told me to stop embarrassing him. fat FML

#20399775
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34208) - you deserved it (8360)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

2day my boyfriend of 4 yeres drunkenly introduced me to anoter very special lady. His wife. FML

#20197502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33871) - you deserved it (3325)

On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down fir a chat over her recent cursing!! When my husband askedhere she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replid, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accusd me of cheating, and hasn't been home since!! FML

#20399736
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (6144)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by mandybar15 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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