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Thursday 6 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, cuz I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice kind beautiful talented funny sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41820) - you deserved it (2775)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, It's Been 13 Months Since I've Been Living In The States. I've Been Calld A Nazi, Askd If We Have Electricity In Germany, An Been Made Fun Of The Way I Speak With Mah ( German Accent ), The List Goes On. I'm Not Even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41778) - you deserved it (2577)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

today I was slapped acros the face by a grl in the waiting room at the dentist's office!! She thought I was taking a picture of her breast with mah phone!! I was smilinghile reading other people's FMLs!! FML

#20189568
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today , ma pregnant girlfriend gave me back te ring I'd used to propose wit a week ago. Her reason? Se only said yes cuz se was worried te real fater of te baby wasn't going to stick around. mega FML

#20192033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38021) - you deserved it (2429)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Taday I had to do a presentation in front of my entre school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

#20199177
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36998) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, mah hand hit his shoulder and I dropped mah phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, mah dad was staring at us from outside. He still appear to think I was giving him head. fat FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (3745)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp after catching me admring a photo of a bikini model which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her . FML

#20195064
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (1968)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

TODAY, MY CRAZY PSYCHOPATH OF A NEIGHBOR SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT, ( SO, ABOUT YUR SEX LIFE. ) I'VE BEEN SITTING ERE 4 20 MINUTES STARING AT IT BECAUSE I'M TOO SCARD TO OPEN IT. FML

#20189915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (3584)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today I Found Out Mah New Girlfriend Is A Screamer. This Would Normally Turn Me On Except She Sounds Like She's Bieng Murdered With A Rusty Fork. Mega FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (4003)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

2day my boyfriend of 4 yeres drunkenly introduced me to anoter very special lady. His wife. FML

#20197502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33871) - you deserved it (3325)

On 12/09/2012 at 9:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, Ma Dog Died An I Told Ma Grandfater I Wanted Er To Be Cremated . I Cummed Ome Later To Find Im Burning Er In Our Barbecue Pit . FML

#20193405
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33154) - you deserved it (3691)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)

Today, I Met Mah Girlfriend's Father 4 The First Time; He Asked Me To Explain Mah Interest In Dating Her . In A Mix Of Me Trying To Say "I Want To Be With Yur Daughter" An "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter's Life" I Got Confused An Said, "I Want To Be In Yur Daughter." Real FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (6277)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)



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