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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5612) - you deserved it (40130)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML

#20195063
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5277) - you deserved it (24370)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML

#20196447
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4817) - you deserved it (52488)

On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4804) - you deserved it (21777)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4388) - you deserved it (68625)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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