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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

#20187584
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24276) - you deserved it (8094)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (2401)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

#20179890
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23584) - you deserved it (2904)

On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23566) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (1919)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML

#20194701
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (1659)

On 12/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by SBCR (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

#20187578
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22950) - you deserved it (1409)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

#20191850
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (1322)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:35am - love - by musiciansareoneofakind (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21971) - you deserved it (4356)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML

#20197527
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (1223)

On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML

#20192047
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21754) - you deserved it (1462)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:29am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21564) - you deserved it (2991)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

#20194994
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (13481)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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