Thursday 29 November 2012 
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Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40914) - you deserved it (2666)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (272)
On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (2170)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30772) - you deserved it (1649)
On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30183) - you deserved it (4300)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States
Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29554) - you deserved it (2075)
On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (2705)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my dog died and I told my grandfather I wanted her to be cremated. I came home later to find him burning her in our barbecue pit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25109) - you deserved it (2568)
On 12/06/2012 at 2:18am - animals - by psd60 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (6472)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (2612)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (8095)
On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24235) - you deserved it (2400)
On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)
Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (2904)
On 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm - misc - by Teddy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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