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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (5986)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (2058)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (2190)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21714) - you deserved it (2307)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (1637)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

#20192329
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (3716)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm - health - by Emily - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (1846)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21194) - you deserved it (4151)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (3802)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (1637)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20939) - you deserved it (1459)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (2704)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)



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