Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 26 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23868) - you deserved it (1954)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

#20183959
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (1494)

On 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm - work - by bitch i'm a gerontophile (man) - Taiwan

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

#20179140
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23572) - you deserved it (2350)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

#20188746
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23250) - you deserved it (2354)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

#20180681
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (12132)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23007) - you deserved it (5331)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22491) - you deserved it (4087)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

#20181270
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (6015)

On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22083) - you deserved it (1911)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (2192)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21360) - you deserved it (3825)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

#20185014
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21223) - you deserved it (4153)

On 11/30/2012 at 3:33am - work - by onlyslightly (woman) - United States

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21093) - you deserved it (1639)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: