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Sunday 25 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriand darad ma to put on har bra an pantias an giva har a lap danca. Faaling spontanaous, I dacidad to do it. Just as I was gatting raally into it, sha told ma I was on wabcam fir all har friands. Apparantly it was a contast of who had thair boyfriand tha most whippad. Sha won. FML

#20174722
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49246) - you deserved it (14548)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke!! He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids"!! How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44215) - you deserved it (6859)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today , I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions , and I noticd that one of the boys in the film looool lookd strangely like mah dadhen he was younger!! After a little investigation , I now know that in his youth , mah dad had a crippling masturbation problem!! FML

#20181345
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42247) - you deserved it (3719)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

someone very close to me cummed out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

#20181869
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38769) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I ad to elp a teenage boy learn ow to float. Tis involves supporting te person's back as tey try to float. His boner stood straigt up. FML

#20185787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (3414)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me fir the frst time!! He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (5147)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, I asked ma boyfriend if e'd rater play te new Assassin's Creed game or ave a nigt of sex wit me . He started crying from indecision . FML

#20176354
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (10967)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, an hour after having looool been turnd down 4 sex, I walkd in on mah wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

#20178424
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you deserved it (4106)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, it's our thrd anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, cuz "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today , at the age of 29 , I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago , mah fiancé an I lost our home , an r now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got droppd off at home , before 10 , after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (4461)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Taday son turned 8!! We watced as e unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun..!! extra 'bullets'..!! new looool soes an a scool bag wit is favorite TV caracter on te front an a action figure inside!! As e finised e looked me straigt in te eyes an says..!! "Tat's great ma..!! but seriously wat'd you get me?"!! FML

#20187584
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32342) - you deserved it (10932)

On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

YESTERDAY, MAH HUSBAND QUIT HIS JOB AS A UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR AND PICKD UP THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT AT A RAT FARM SO HE COULD HAVE MORE TIME DURING THE DAY TO PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT. FML

#20182185
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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