Saturday 17 November 2012 
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Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14275) - you deserved it (892)
On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States
Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14255) - you deserved it (1574)
On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)
Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14127) - you deserved it (17551)
On 11/14/2012 at 6:39am - misc - by hclagopus (man) - Norway
Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14101) - you deserved it (2543)
On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14070) - you deserved it (37252)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14048) - you deserved it (6179)
On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13987) - you deserved it (1767)
On 11/22/2012 at 9:56pm - misc - by Unfortunate Painter - United States (California)
Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13929) - you deserved it (11387)
On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States
Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13847) - you deserved it (1274)
On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (1118)
On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13622) - you deserved it (943)
On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13476) - you deserved it (1782)
On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States
Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13440) - you deserved it (2051)
On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Monday 17 June 2013
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