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Thursday 15 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, WAS THE DAY MY GIRLFRIEND AND I TRIED TO 69 FOR THE FIRST TIME!! TODAY IS ALSO THE DAY I LEARNED THAT I'M PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF MAINTAINING AN ERECTION AFTER SOMEONE FARTS IN MY FACE!! FML

#20163281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49450) - you deserved it (6256)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

today I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout mah childhood is actually the sound mah mom makes when she comes!! FML

#20160628
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (2720)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

today I had the best sex of looool our relationship with mah boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, lookd me sweetly in the eyes 4 a few moments, then decidd to slap me in the face with it. real FML

#20168405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (5682)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

2day just as I was about to orgasm , boyfriendhisperd , "Cum , preciousssss" into ear , in his scarily accurate Gollum voice . I think clitoris just about witherd away in despair . FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36018) - you deserved it (3664)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me fir the frst time!! He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (5147)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decidd to surprise ma boyfriend by waking im up wit a blowjob, because e ad always told me tat it was a sexy fantasy of is . Wen e finally woke up, e got pissd off, rudely accusd me of interrupting is beauty sleep, ten soundly lay back down and fell asleep again . FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34693) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to fine that while I was passd out someone stole mah prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Yastarday, axcitad that I finally got a placa of my own, I invitad my boyfriand ovar for a saxy slaap ovar . Ha told ma his mom doasn't want him slaaping ovar . Ha's 21 yaars old . fat FML

#20162787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33135) - you deserved it (4280)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriand and I had amazing maka-up looool sax aftar a huga fight!! Turns out ha forgot to lat ma know it was actually braak-up sax!! FML

Today , at the age of 29 , I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago , mah fiancé an I lost our home , an r now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got droppd off at home , before 10 , after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (4461)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

I Was Blessd With A Girlfriend Who Loves Giving Blowjobs!! And Cursd With A Girlfriend Who Is Also Somehow Really Bad At Them!! FML

#20174308
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (8136)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today , I decided to buy a meal 4 a homeless man who was bieng shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him , I realized it was my dad , wereing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. big fat FML

#20159880
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (1962)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had awful morning sickness, an I asked mah husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. mega FML

#20165918
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (2506)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan



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