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Wednesday 14 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47485) - you deserved it (6021)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (2711)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

#20168405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38199) - you deserved it (5678)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35906) - you deserved it (3657)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34622) - you deserved it (4303)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34372) - you deserved it (5070)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (4454)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to buy a meal for a homeless man who was being shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him, I realized it was my dad, wearing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. FML

#20159880
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31948) - you deserved it (1960)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, excited that I finally got a place of my own, I invited my boyfriend over for a sexy sleep over. He told me his mom doesn't want him sleeping over. He's 21 years old. FML

#20162787
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31885) - you deserved it (4130)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (5876)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

#20165918
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (2498)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31716) - you deserved it (3113)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia



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