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Monday 5 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28194) - you deserved it (2447)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27890) - you deserved it (2167)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27268) - you deserved it (2232)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (6600)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26874) - you deserved it (1941)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (4021)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26775) - you deserved it (3023)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

#20159990
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26715) - you deserved it (3085)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:50am - health - by myleghurts (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (2103)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25996) - you deserved it (3466)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

#20157954
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (1302)

On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States



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