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Monday 5 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25207) - you deserved it (2192)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (1079)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

#20156278
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (6133)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Argentina (Buenos Aires)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23525) - you deserved it (7192)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint, but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. FML

#20158993
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (2692)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML

#20149647
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23443) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

#20159990
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (2696)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:50am - health - by myleghurts (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML

#20157954
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (1134)

On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

#20150778
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (14391)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm - love - by new name (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (1281)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22555) - you deserved it (1832)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (2692)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)



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