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Tuesday 30 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

#20142623
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43209) - you deserved it (1691)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

YASTARDAY MA GRLFRIAND DID TA WALK OF SAMA IN A SKIMPY HALLOWAAN COSTUMA AFTAR A NIGT OF DRUNKAN SAX. PROBLAM? TA WALK ANDAD AT MA DOORSTAP... AND TA SAX WAS WIT A STRANGAR. FML

#20145433
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37489) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I finally lost virginity to boyfriend. It hurt like hell , was over in less than a minute , an he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36895) - you deserved it (5397)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, boyfriand and I got intimata with aach othar for tha first tima . Ha shovad his hand down pants, touchad about an inch away from clitoris, andhisparad "cummm" in aar . I doubt I'll hava an orgasm avar again . FML

#20145795
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34754) - you deserved it (3645)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found mah fiancé is cheating on me. Our wedding is in 26 days and everything is already paid for. FML

#20140302
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (2187)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with mah girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of mah life. FML

#20148134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33433) - you deserved it (3990)

On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States

Today... I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into house. I've been searching house for two hours and still can't fine him. I'm afraid to go to sleep.

#20142294
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (2350)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

2day mah daughtar callad ma talling ma sha had har twin girls. Sha namad tham Juli and Anna. Har nama is Julianna. Har kids r going to fucking hata har. FML

#20141194
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today , I went down on girlfriend fir the first time. I thought it was all going really well , until I lookd up a minute or two in , only to be greetd by a stone-cold death glare an the words , "You really are an idiot , aren't you?" FML

#20144510
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31395) - you deserved it (7570)

On 11/02/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today , my hubby and I decidd to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town , so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decidd on our items , and went to the check out. Who would have guessd my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

#20146867
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (4747)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States

Today I Textd My Boyfriend Saying Tat I Couldn't Wait 4 Im To Get Ome An See My Costume An Tat I Ad Dressd Up As A Nakd Lady. He Textd Back Asking If I Could Dress Up As Someone Wo Was Making Dinner Instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (6515)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to putted mah clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30650) - you deserved it (5928)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, I Broka A Nail At School . Tha Adga Kapt Gatting Caught On Things, So I Thought I Could Fila It Down By Rubbing It On My Jaans . Apparantly It Lookad Lyk I Was Doing Somathing Alsa, Bacausa I Was Callad Into Tha Principal's Offica To Discuss Y "cartain Things" Should Ba Dona In Privata . FML

#20139255
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29928) - you deserved it (4969)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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