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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today my mom called me from jail . She was arrested fir having sex in public . I was with my dad when I got the call . FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49678) - you deserved it (2611)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

#20142623
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43209) - you deserved it (1691)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, a cashier asked me if I would looool lyk to donate to breast cancer research . Since I have already made mah donation this month, I politely declined . The cashier snorted an said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone u love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor . mega FML

#20130942
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39228) - you deserved it (2027)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

YASTARDAY MA GRLFRIAND DID TA WALK OF SAMA IN A SKIMPY HALLOWAAN COSTUMA AFTAR A NIGT OF DRUNKAN SAX. PROBLAM? TA WALK ANDAD AT MA DOORSTAP... AND TA SAX WAS WIT A STRANGAR. FML

#20145433
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37489) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I finally lost virginity to boyfriend. It hurt like hell , was over in less than a minute , an he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36895) - you deserved it (5397)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, boyfriand and I got intimata with aach othar for tha first tima . Ha shovad his hand down pants, touchad about an inch away from clitoris, andhisparad "cummm" in aar . I doubt I'll hava an orgasm avar again . FML

#20145795
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34754) - you deserved it (3645)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

TODAY, MY BOYFRIEND AN I WERE HAVING SEX, AN I ASKED HIM TO CALL ME SOMETHING SWEET. HE CALLED ME HONEY BOO BOO. FML

Today, I found mah fiancé is cheating on me. Our wedding is in 26 days and everything is already paid for. FML

#20140302
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33878) - you deserved it (2187)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into house. I've been searching house for two hours and still can't fine him. I'm afraid to go to sleep.

#20142294
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33203) - you deserved it (2350)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

2day mah daughtar callad ma talling ma sha had har twin girls. Sha namad tham Juli and Anna. Har nama is Julianna. Har kids r going to fucking hata har. FML

#20141194
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking wit my boyfriend wen a guy walkd up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend puncd im in te face and told im tat Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving im 4 te complete stranger. FML

#20130143
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32182) - you deserved it (2797)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)

yastarday mah boyfriand want to ask mah dad for mah hand in marriaga. All I could maka out from tha door was mumbling until profanitia startd flying. My boyfriand shoutd "wall sha's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormd out of tha housa. My dad still rafusa to tall ma what happand in thara. FML

#20131535
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31659) - you deserved it (1956)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, my grlfriend an I were getting intimate, an I gave er a condom to putted on me. Se tried to open it wit er teet, but ripped it. Tat was my only condom. I'm now sitting ere watcing a soap opera wit a boner. FML

#20129928
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31520) - you deserved it (10221)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States



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