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Saturday 29 September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm an I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47896) - you deserved it (2004)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

TADAY MY HUSBAND SPENT OUR ENTIRE ANNIVERSARY SULKING BECAUSE I WASN'T UP FOR SEX. I GAVE BIRTH TO OUR FIRST CHILD LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AGO. FML

#20099391
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36775) - you deserved it (5903)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today mah mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk . Towards the end I had to excuse myself to the bathroom . As I came back I overheard mah dad telling mah mom that I'm so unpopular the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin . FML

#20091141
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (2649)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving brth to her frst litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35798) - you deserved it (4858)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Yesterday, ma grlfriend texted one of er male friends, saying se's turned off by te tougt of sex wit me. Se suggested a bit of ( exercise sex ) wit im. I'm sure e would ave eagerly agreed, if e'd been te one receiving te texts. FML

#20104673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34665) - you deserved it (2344)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today I unintentionally moand during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34250) - you deserved it (6818)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I woke up with a used condom on mah face. Turns out mah roommate had sex with his grlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34085) - you deserved it (2358)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, mah wife of four years reveald to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we looool have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (3455)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, I finally got mah hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33337) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to surprise mah long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight tohere I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

#20103950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33227) - you deserved it (3647)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, mah laptop got hit by a Trojan . Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench . mega FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32654) - you deserved it (2512)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

today I yet again had to explain to mah boyfriend that... yes... I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

#20101252
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32440) - you deserved it (3798)

On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I ad tree tings stolen: ma pone, ma iPod, an ma grlfriend. All by te same guy. FML

#20094866
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32347) - you deserved it (2619)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)



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