Sunday 22 July 2012 
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Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30120) - you deserved it (6961)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28203) - you deserved it (2294)
On 07/25/2012 at 2:08pm - love - by Itstrickyyxx (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27767) - you deserved it (1293)
On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (2082)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (3666)
On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to a movie with this guy. He was late so the only seats available were the ones in the very front which he refused to sit in. As we were looking for two seats, he spotted one near the back and sat down, leaving me to sit by myself in the front. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (2016)
On 07/16/2012 at 12:21am - love - by BC94 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25799) - you deserved it (1785)
On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -
Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25743) - you deserved it (2320)
On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you deserved it (4108)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25352) - you deserved it (3025)
On 07/29/2012 at 1:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24623) - you deserved it (2214)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24589) - you deserved it (1688)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (6290)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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