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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Saturday 28 November 2009

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57274) - you deserved it (8514)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (49768) - you deserved it (4754)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (45046) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my father asked my best friend to marry him. He's 38 and we're 18. She said yes. FML

#6593768 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (42064) - you deserved it (1823)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (39180) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister was dumped by her boyfriend. As my mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, you're the pretty one. Think of those worse off than you. Think of your sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML

#6570014 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (38386) - you deserved it (1773)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by UglySister - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

#6564625 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (37622) - you deserved it (2271)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (36044) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (5756)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

#6590388 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (35755) - you deserved it (1137)

On 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML

#6572169 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (33041) - you deserved it (1973)

On 12/02/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML

#6552021 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (32088) - you deserved it (2744)

On 12/01/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by sassman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I cleaned out my husband's drawer. He had kept every love letter I wrote him for the past 7 years. I smiled, struck by how romantic he was. My bliss was short-lived as I realized that he had also kept every single love letter his other lovers wrote him while we were married. FML

#6547469 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (2613)

On 12/01/2009 at 3:22am - love - by loveletterbullcrap09 (woman) - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.