Saturday 21 November 2009 
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Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40111) - you totally deserved it (3648)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States
Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39064) - you totally deserved it (5924)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37851) - you totally deserved it (1441)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you totally deserved it (4214)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after two and a half years, my fiancée broke off our engagement. Talking to her later today trying to win her over, I accidentally ruined any chance I had of getting back with her. Feeling horrible, I went for a walk to clear my head, and got hit by a van. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28282) - you totally deserved it (1946)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Lornlust (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a random text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28180) - you totally deserved it (1186)
On 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27849) - you totally deserved it (1758)
On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you totally deserved it (3336)
On 11/23/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by OnlyIfYouLoveMe (woman) - United States
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27614) - you totally deserved it (1808)
On 11/22/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by Rejected. (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27468) - you totally deserved it (3625)
On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you totally deserved it (1603)
On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26193) - you totally deserved it (948)
On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26016) - you totally deserved it (1814)
On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)
