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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Saturday 21 November 2009

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57261) - you deserved it (8512)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (49763) - you deserved it (4752)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife had an affair with our marriage counselor. FML

#6480893 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (45037) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:39pm - love - by Nobody (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

#6377281 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (33452) - you deserved it (4928)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

#6404510 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (33068) - you deserved it (2318)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by Rejected. (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I got a random text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

#6406630 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (32974) - you deserved it (1635)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

#6389255 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (2299)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

#6378888 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (32441) - you deserved it (4530)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

#6324167 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (32224) - you deserved it (2076)

On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

#6438315 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (1449)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (2296)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realized why my 50 year old Dad's 30 something girlfriend looked so familiar. She is in all my parents wedding photos... as the flower girl. FML

#6348430 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (1100)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:18pm - misc - by usmcgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

#6383914 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (5078)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)