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Sunday 25 January 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34825) - you deserved it (2047)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (2314)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, while on my driving test, the guy told me to pull over and do a U-turn. A few minutes later, he asked me to do another one. After the test, he said I'd failed because the second U-turn was illegal, and I should have refused to comply. I didn't know they're even allowed do that. FML

#21340454
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33529) - you deserved it (4568)

On 01/19/2015 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (2790)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32353) - you deserved it (1982)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32120) - you deserved it (5051)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31874) - you deserved it (2048)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

#21340885
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30196) - you deserved it (3233)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (6240)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

#21342067
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (4115)

On 01/22/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

#21340022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (3547)

On 01/19/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by momac86 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

#21340989
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28621) - you deserved it (4305)

On 01/20/2015 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by fun in functioning, I suppose - United States (Mississippi)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28329) - you deserved it (2283)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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