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Saturday 2 August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45041) - you deserved it (6120)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36546) - you deserved it (2997)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35081) - you deserved it (11739)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34224) - you deserved it (3536)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

#21224521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34060) - you deserved it (3798)

On 07/30/2014 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (8027)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (3731)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32781) - you deserved it (7643)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32623) - you deserved it (3546)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32455) - you deserved it (5338)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML

#21225641
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32190) - you deserved it (3297)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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