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Sunday 19 April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (2276)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML

#21394027
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32293) - you deserved it (2405)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31764) - you deserved it (2763)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, my girlfriend started bitching me out about how public proposals are unfair and how they pressure a girl to say yes. All I did was get on my knee to tie a loose shoelace. FML

#21392927
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31377) - you deserved it (2548)

On 04/13/2015 at 12:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

#21393558
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31288) - you deserved it (3069)

On 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm - work - by Anyonexx0 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

#21393492
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28825) - you deserved it (2343)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:49am - health - by TheGoodSister - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

#21392817
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28357) - you deserved it (2547)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

#21393386
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27590) - you deserved it (2931)

On 04/14/2015 at 4:33am - intimacy - by Lebac - United States (Washington)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (3157)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (4348)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27187) - you deserved it (3461)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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