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Wednesday 4 March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28118) - you deserved it (2883)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26390) - you deserved it (3686)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (2315)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (4932)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML

#21367159
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25494) - you deserved it (1562)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:01am - misc - by definatelynotamurderer (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I hate my boyfriend's little sister enough to break up with him. FML

#21366485
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24615) - you deserved it (5575)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:31am - love - by sorry... - United States (Delaware)

Today, I walked 20 minutes in rain, winds that almost knocked me over, and face-fulls of stinging hailstones. Less than a minute after I finally got inside, the weather cleared up, the sun came out, and a rainbow appeared. FML

#21367104
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24484) - you deserved it (2201)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:41am - misc - by Banana_Lord - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I got a laptop for my birthday. I was thrilled until I realized that my mom had given away my old one without asking. 6 years of games, music, and pictures down the drain. FML

#21367193
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24340) - you deserved it (1838)

On 03/03/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by Hi-Tech (woman) - Europe

Today, after many tests and doctor visits, I finally found out the reason for my flu-like symptoms isn't a vitamin deficient or anything. The damn tea I drink every morning makes me feel sick. FML

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (1993)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a person in my class completing a project that was due two periods later and that they had just started in the bathroom. They got a better grade than me. FML

#21366872
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22867) - you deserved it (3545)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anomaly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

#21366823
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22226) - you deserved it (2005)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:42pm - work - by dontplaywithmyfeelings - Canada (Alberta)



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