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Friday 27 May 2016

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Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML

by Anon / 05/23/2016 at 6:49am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML

by LongDriveNoSleep / 05/24/2016 at 6:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was really happy because the guy I've been on a few dates with wanted to take pictures with me. I thought it'd meant that he really liked me, but it turns out he just wanted them so he could post them online and make his ex-girlfriend jealous. FML

by ReboundGrl / 05/23/2016 at 2:44pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I started dating my best friend, who is Hispanic. I told my family the good news and all my father had to say to me was, "I will allow you to date him, but you should really think about settling with someone your own kind." FML

by Carrie_Chaos / 05/23/2016 at 4:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML

by gettinganF / 05/23/2016 at 7:57am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

by WellThatSucks / 05/23/2016 at 5:15am / United States / Animals

Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML

by figcurzyez / 05/23/2016 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the only driver at the pizza place I work at, since it was the morning shift. My recently made ex-boyfriend ordered pizza for delivery. Guess who got to take it to him. And guess who got a 34 cent tip. FML

by MagickAngel / 05/23/2016 at 3:19am / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my 9-year-old sister to an ice cream shop. There we met a boy about her age, who started a conversation with her, told her she was pretty and they ended up exchanging numbers. I'm 24 and so far I've never succeeded at getting a girl's number like this. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2016 at 6:30am / Ukraine / Love

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

by longest minute / 05/25/2016 at 7:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend decided to make some life changes. He got a new job, a new car, and asked me to move out of our apartment. We're 1,500 miles away from my hometown. I only moved all the way out here to live with him in the first place because he asked me to. FML

by BrokenAndHurt / 05/24/2016 at 8:28am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, a stranger nearly beat the crap out of my boyfriend for being a pedo. I ended up showing the guy my driving license to prove I'm not a pre-teen and that I'm just freakishly young looking. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I think I've finally gotten past the food poisoning that caused me to puke so violently that I pulled muscles in my abdomen and chest. Unfortunately, some of that vomit hung around long enough to give me a sinus infection. FML

by why?? / 05/24/2016 at 9:29am / United States / Health