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Wednesday 23 July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38810) - you deserved it (3608)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

#21216217
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33472) - you deserved it (920)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - love - by whatjusthappened - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28901) - you deserved it (17550)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26912) - you deserved it (3333)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26411) - you deserved it (3544)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (2069)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (4207)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (194)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

#21217564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4838) - you deserved it (1437)

On 07/22/2014 at 5:55pm - work - by Infadel - United States (California)

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

#21216549
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2658) - you deserved it (202)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2450) - you deserved it (17897)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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