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Saturday 1 November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43894) - you deserved it (3326)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33916) - you deserved it (2498)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday. I recently came home from college to visit my family, after my mother had a stroke a few weeks back. She ended up being the only person who remembered to get me anything. She also thinks it's still 2009. FML

#21286282
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32400) - you deserved it (2744)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

#21287570
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32319) - you deserved it (3215)

On 10/29/2014 at 9:09am - kids - by NoColor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend drove up a parking lot and I unbuckled my seatbelt as soon as we were parked. He then suddenly saw a better spot right in front and moved his car. When I got out, a police officer approached me, saying I wasn't wearing my seatbelt. I was fined for that. FML

Today, I reprimanded three students for sleeping, five for not having books, and kicked three out for texting in class. One student yelled at me for a bad grade, and another stormed out for a failing exam score. I teach at a four-year university. FML

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29313) - you deserved it (5609)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

#21286250
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (2852)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40am - work - by Silbax1 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML

#21286908
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29108) - you deserved it (3410)

On 10/28/2014 at 10:07am - misc - by bottombarrel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

#21287010
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you deserved it (2689)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

#21286814
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (4605)

On 10/28/2014 at 3:40am - animals - by thewrittenrebel - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

#21288116
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28330) - you deserved it (1926)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm - misc - by thealaskanyoung - United States (Indiana)

Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

#21286268
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (2557)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:25pm - work - by Radio GaGa (man) - Canada



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