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Wednesday 27 August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35473) - you deserved it (6035)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34086) - you deserved it (6510)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (3029)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

#21245120
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (2664)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm - misc - by nhyari (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (9643)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML

#21245163
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27109) - you deserved it (2108)

On 08/25/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by fanaticalfuckspawn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26868) - you deserved it (2298)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (2370)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26455) - you deserved it (1991)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25703) - you deserved it (2363)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

#21245365
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (2993)

On 08/25/2014 at 9:03pm - love - by byebyeromance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (12376)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was staying in my family friend's house in France. The church bells ring every hour, which I thought was cute. Until 8 this morning where they rang 24 times. FML

#21245620
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (2570)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:48am - misc - by hellangelrose - France



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