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Friday 31 July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (1799)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

#21448362
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (3656)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:02am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23907) - you deserved it (1916)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (1777)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23503) - you deserved it (2892)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23337) - you deserved it (4581)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

#21448086
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (2138)

On 07/27/2015 at 3:12pm - misc - by Not turnt - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

#21448078
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22415) - you deserved it (2298)

On 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22149) - you deserved it (3093)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

#21449035
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21925) - you deserved it (1723)

On 07/29/2015 at 11:30am - money - by fukingtigans (man) - Croatia (Zadarska)

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (1193)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

#21447824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (4279)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:43am - intimacy - by anon - United States



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Friday 31 July 2015

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