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August 2014

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Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

#21227050
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37246) - you deserved it (3252)

On 08/01/2014 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37194) - you deserved it (14194)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you deserved it (3402)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML

#21233010
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37105) - you deserved it (2564)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by I already have one, thanks (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37040) - you deserved it (6372)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36875) - you deserved it (6277)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

#21232284
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36840) - you deserved it (3170)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML

#21231175
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36738) - you deserved it (2303)

On 08/06/2014 at 7:33pm - work - by TzarErik (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

#21236314
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36610) - you deserved it (3222)

On 08/13/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ragingwaffles - United States (California)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36613) - you deserved it (4531)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, as I wandered through the streets of an unfamiliar city, I spotted a cop and darted across the street to ask for assistance. He kindly gave me directions as he wrote me out a citation for jaywalking. FML

#21230350
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36406) - you deserved it (8821)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:46pm - misc - by spekledworf (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my neighbour casually mentioned that he sold my car's GPS that I'd let him borrow. He figured I wouldn't be needing it anymore since I lost my license. FML

#21228738
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36372) - you deserved it (4504)

On 08/03/2014 at 8:19pm - money - by lovethyneighbour - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you deserved it (4530)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)



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