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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35379) - you deserved it (10051)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

#21103838
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35358) - you deserved it (3051)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm - work - by RIP_Nose (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35362) - you deserved it (6719)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35255) - you deserved it (3856)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML

#21117346
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35173) - you deserved it (4220)

On 04/19/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by burnmyeyes (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

#21106771
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34889) - you deserved it (10870)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeling really depressed and ended up asking my mom why guys aren't interested in me. She replied with a laundry list of reasons, including, "Hair. Boobs. Face. Everything." FML

#21117292
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (4149)

On 04/19/2014 at 4:12pm - love - by snore - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, we had a speaking assessment in Spanish class. When it was my turn, I yawned in the middle of a sentence, said "excuse me" and finished my sentence. She took points off because I hesitated and I spoke in English, not Spanish. FML

#21108988
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34794) - you deserved it (10798)

On 04/09/2014 at 10:33pm - misc - by macaroni17 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34740) - you deserved it (8998)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34648) - you deserved it (2962)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34609) - you deserved it (3692)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister is working on her graduation speech. She gives her thanks to one friend for helping support her through school, like, "The sister I never had". FML

#21110843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34548) - you deserved it (3621)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:22am - misc - by onlychild (woman) - United States



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