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December 2014

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Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

#21317613
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26882) - you deserved it (4721)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:22pm - love - by lonesome - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26621) - you deserved it (6607)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26577) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I confessed to my roommate of 4 years that I'm in love with her. Her response? Sticking her tongue out at me and blowing a raspberry. FML

#21314515
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (3452)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:19pm - love - by thatsnice - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

Today, I found out that the "IRS scam" that I ignored last week was actually not a scam, and now I have a warrant out for me. FML

#21317643
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (5307)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:50pm - money - by dawg - United States (Florida)

Today, I injured my knee during dance class. When it started to feel a little bit better, I tried dancing again. I tripped, fell, and broke my wrist. FML

#21311641
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26399) - you deserved it (5074)

On 12/04/2014 at 8:54pm - health - by dumb dancer - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

#21310760
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26365) - you deserved it (18290)

On 12/03/2014 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I popped into the shower hoping to come out all warm and clean. Something was very wrong with the pipes, and I came out smelling like sewage instead. FML

#21315541
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26357) - you deserved it (2522)

On 12/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by ohray - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, I received a gift certificate from my grandmother for a local bookshop. Considering how broke I am, this would be a fantastic gift. If the bookshop in question wasn't a right-wing evangelical Christian Bookshop, and I wasn't Jewish. FML

#21315500
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (3030)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:29am - misc - by Soverytired (woman) - Australia

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

#21316127
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26200) - you deserved it (4014)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:17am - love - by galladore - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML

#21318238
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (3019)

On 12/15/2014 at 10:38pm - kids - by Lisa - United States (Missouri)



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