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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32052) - you deserved it (4082)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a restaurant manager, I had a large party of difficult guests. They sat in their private room they'd reserved for three-and-a-half hours, then caused a huge scene when it was time to pay. One guy even ran at me like he was going to hit me. FML

#21276013
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (2235)

On 10/12/2014 at 2:40am - work - by stressed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried a soup sample at a supermarket. An employee then came over and started asking me questions about how I got the cup for the sample, telling me it wasn't store policy to just give out sample cups. I was so stressed that I broke down crying in the middle of the supermarket. FML

Today, this girl I've been talking to texted me, saying she was going to visit. Trying to be sweet, I bought her $50 worth of chocolate and a cute card. Turns out she meant to send that text to her ex. Seems like the only thing I'll get from this relationship is diabetes. FML

#21271233
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31958) - you deserved it (4425)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31989) - you deserved it (11435)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31915) - you deserved it (4475)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31828) - you deserved it (3259)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31740) - you deserved it (2492)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

#21276185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (3337)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:45pm - intimacy - by KO - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML

#21277941
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31562) - you deserved it (4167)

On 10/14/2014 at 9:06pm - love - by failure - United States (California)



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