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August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my car got towed. My money is in my car and they won't let me open my car to get money until my car is "released". FML

#21238660
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38250) - you deserved it (4426)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:30am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, as I awoke, the sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and police sirens were wailing at a drug bust next door. FML

#21234535
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38193) - you deserved it (3123)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:11am - misc - by Ithoughtheywerenormalpeople (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (2554)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38119) - you deserved it (2898)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37942) - you deserved it (3162)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37823) - you deserved it (14430)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37770) - you deserved it (6050)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37763) - you deserved it (4628)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37650) - you deserved it (23085)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

#21231132
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (2585)

On 08/06/2014 at 6:18pm - kids - by whymyroomthough (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37524) - you deserved it (5969)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I picked up an extra shift at the store. It was also the day the store's ventilation system shut down, resulting in carbon monoxide poisoning for me and two co-workers. FML

#21230314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37516) - you deserved it (2496)

On 08/05/2014 at 6:44pm - work - by cutthroatkait (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my mom about signing up for an online dating site. She took one look at me and said, "Why get rejected online when you can just go outside for the same?" FML

#21229228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37468) - you deserved it (3803)

On 08/04/2014 at 11:08am - misc - by baebookboo - United States (Kansas)



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