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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30304) - you deserved it (13910)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30283) - you deserved it (17547)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my mom that I got into National Honor Society and Beta Club. Most parents are proud but not her. She told me to get a job and that she was tired of my school shit. FML

#21272922
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30271) - you deserved it (2213)

On 10/07/2014 at 5:10pm - misc - by wtfmom - United States (Alabama)

Today, my co-worker told me that my other co-worker is in the process of getting a divorce. I got really excited because his marriage is very toxic. He overheard me say, "He deserves that divorce!" I meant it in a good way, but I don't think he took it that way. FML

#21268618
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you deserved it (10338)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:20pm - work - by oopsydaisy (woman) - United States

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30255) - you deserved it (2228)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States

Today, I got a round of applause. Too bad it was from my thighs as I went down the stairs. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML

#21277941
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30183) - you deserved it (4016)

On 10/14/2014 at 9:06pm - love - by failure - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

#21279192
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (7494)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by not saying it was whores, but... - United States

Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML

#21273773
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30159) - you deserved it (2260)

On 10/08/2014 at 8:30pm - work - by xRyu (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30147) - you deserved it (4555)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got the best grade in class on my economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, my professor criticized me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

#21279849
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30056) - you deserved it (2985)

On 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by katsaysner - United States (Maine)

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, I got back from a weekend at my best friend's house. Apparently, he and his friend invented a new game. It involves sticking duct tape to their pubic hairs, ripping them out, and sticking as many as possible on my face and body before I wake up. FML

#21276742
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (3096)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:17am - misc - by wtfguys - United States



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Friday 17 October 2014

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