Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40017) - you deserved it (2486)
On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39982) - you deserved it (7646)
On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39941) - you deserved it (3076)
On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39872) - you deserved it (2965)
On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39708) - you deserved it (6495)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39695) - you deserved it (6229)
On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39607) - you deserved it (2315)
On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain
Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39604) - you deserved it (2102)
On 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm - kids - by rachelllynne - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39463) - you deserved it (2115)
On 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm - kids - by bet a woman would've been thanked (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39258) - you deserved it (6392)
On 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by stretchy - United States (Maryland)
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39147) - you deserved it (3698)
On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39020) - you deserved it (9413)
On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)
Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38968) - you deserved it (4329)
On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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