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November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

#21293180
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (2467)

On 11/06/2014 at 1:53am - work - by HelpMe1 (man) - Indonesia (Jakarta Raya)

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

#21300816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31566) - you deserved it (4929)

On 11/17/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Virginia)

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31385) - you deserved it (6105)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after moving to a new neighbourhood, I went to meet my new neighbour. When she opened the door, all she said was, "Oh not you again!", and shut the door in my face. I have no memory of her. FML

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML

#21296653
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (3921)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by mouthwash - United States (Ohio)

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (4153)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML

#21291978
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (6541)

On 11/04/2014 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

#21291418
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31221) - you deserved it (4371)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:32pm - misc - by Isa_Marie0113 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML

#21298320
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (2825)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

#21295452
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31085) - you deserved it (2536)

On 11/09/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

#21299071
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (1998)

On 11/14/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

#21294024
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31008) - you deserved it (2233)

On 11/07/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by NoToBombs - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after driving hundreds of miles to sign the paperwork for my new job, I found out the guy who hired me recently quit, and HR has no idea who I am. FML

#21300696
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30987) - you deserved it (2103)

On 11/17/2014 at 11:59am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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