Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41609) - you deserved it (3112)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41604) - you deserved it (4913)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML

#21209204
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41516) - you deserved it (2474)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

#21194528
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41483) - you deserved it (5124)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML

#21203054
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41160) - you deserved it (3754)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by madamefuxalittle (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

#21206148
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41146) - you deserved it (3882)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by morgan_rumm (woman) -

Today, we finished a sit-up test at school. I had been training for the athletic tests, so I was proud of my score. When someone asked what I got and I shared, proud, they responded with, "I bet it helps that your fat bounces you back up." FML

#21205700
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41056) - you deserved it (3775)

On 07/11/2014 at 2:04am - health - by Useless training - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40979) - you deserved it (539)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40971) - you deserved it (4158)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40941) - you deserved it (3676)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

#21203953
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40924) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:54pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: