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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29193) - you deserved it (2433)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

#21388075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29166) - you deserved it (2749)

On 04/05/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by supercharged - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

#21392388
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (2458)

On 04/12/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to the annual family reunion. The reason? Everyone thinks I'm "creepy" because I'm the only adult who will go out and play with the kids. FML

#21387157
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28996) - you deserved it (2117)

On 04/03/2015 at 7:00pm - misc - by big_bail (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML

#21396211
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (4179)

On 04/19/2015 at 12:34pm - love - by leonuniz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

#21398382
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28962) - you deserved it (1865)

On 04/23/2015 at 8:28am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

#21396492
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28888) - you deserved it (2673)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:46pm - misc - by me - Canada

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (3264)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (4967)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28808) - you deserved it (3095)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

#21387117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28811) - you deserved it (5438)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



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