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December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

#21317606
132 comments

Today, as I was leaving home for my mall kiosk job, my dad asked me where I was off to. When I said I was going to work, he tossed an empty beer bottle to the floor, belched, and said "Bah! Get a REAL job!" He's unemployed and living in my apartment. FML

#21314514
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30919) - you deserved it (2712)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30859) - you deserved it (3816)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML

#21314927
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30857) - you deserved it (2446)

On 12/10/2014 at 9:05am - misc - by NotAnInLawFamilyMan (man) - United States (California)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (6053)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my parents decided to finally kick me out of the house because they've gotten tired of seeing me "sleep around all day and being so lazy" whenever I'm home. I'm currently triple-shifting for 6 days a week. FML

#21317150
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30809) - you deserved it (2332)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:50am - work - by wallamanut (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after months of saving, I went to buy the wedding ring I promised to buy my fiancée. Just seconds after I walked in, the owner asked me to leave, saying he doesn't serve "trash" like me, while pointing at the memorial tattoo on the back of my hand. FML

#21316839
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (2891)

On 12/13/2014 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

#21315391
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30727) - you deserved it (2008)

On 12/11/2014 at 12:44am - money - by noshow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30718) - you deserved it (2381)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30484) - you deserved it (6339)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

#21313515
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (3661)

On 12/08/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by BedazzledAlpaca (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML

#21311019
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30345) - you deserved it (2806)

On 12/03/2014 at 9:49pm - love - by maddieex - United States (Illinois)



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