Today, I found out my boyfriend is bringing his friends on our trip. I'm now the third wheel on the romantic trip we've planned for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45738) - you deserved it (3655)
On 06/04/2013 at 3:11pm - love - by TheThirdWheel - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45696) - you deserved it (4030)
On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States
Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45511) - you deserved it (3141)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States
Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45420) - you deserved it (5249)
On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45432) - you deserved it (4114)
On 06/05/2013 at 4:40pm - love - by ApparentlyNotEno (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I found out my work gave me a vacation for my performance. It's a trip to somewhere in the Caribbean, with the nickname "The Sunniest Place on Earth." I have skin cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45035) - you deserved it (3149)
On 06/05/2013 at 12:22am - health - by TooSunnyForSkin - United States (Indiana)
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44698) - you deserved it (2260)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44320) - you deserved it (2758)
On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man
Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44309) - you deserved it (4199)
On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (4213)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (3577)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44182) - you deserved it (3678)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43902) - you deserved it (2782)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Monday 17 June 2013
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