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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was checking my schedule online and noticed that I wasn't scheduled for any shifts next week. Not thinking it was a big deal, I called HR to get it corrected, only to find out I was laid off and they "forgot" to tell me. FML

#21254078
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37041) - you deserved it (2130)

On 09/07/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by soontobehobo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36976) - you deserved it (2898)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36917) - you deserved it (4556)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

#21252510
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36898) - you deserved it (5746)

On 09/05/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Perdito_Coño (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36794) - you deserved it (8294)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (4047)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36539) - you deserved it (3553)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (2689)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36314) - you deserved it (3753)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML

#21253597
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36196) - you deserved it (3812)

On 09/07/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by goodmorning - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30 foot wide entrance, but not the two foot wide tree. FML

#21255774
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (3472)

On 09/10/2014 at 4:15pm - misc - by Crash (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36076) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

#21250496
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36035) - you deserved it (3241)

On 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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