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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

#21524473
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18770) - you deserved it (2153)

On 02/09/2016 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by hannieannie - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

#21524824
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (1540)

On 02/10/2016 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a snowstorm my son decided that boarding off the roof onto my truck would be fun. My truck now has a puncture wound. The same truck that drove him to the hospital for his puncture wound and broken arm. FML

#21523317
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18619) - you deserved it (1666)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:56am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

#21522828
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18506) - you deserved it (4311)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

#21522381
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18405) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the seventh weekend in a row, I left my weekly visit with my long-distance boyfriend unsatisfied. Seems he enjoys getting shit-faced drunk more than he enjoys getting a boner. FML

#21523668
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (2982)

On 02/07/2016 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by noO (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after months of daily migraines and doctor's visits, I've now been told that my "temporary" hearing loss has nothing to do with my migraines, nor is it temporary at all. FML

#21524813
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (1083)

On 02/10/2016 at 12:49pm - health - by make america date again (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

#21524037
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18183) - you deserved it (1524)

On 02/08/2016 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Austria

Today, after my fiancé of seven years and the father of our four kids broke up with me, saying he slept with another girl but not to worry, he thought about me the whole time and still wants to marry me one day, it turns out he's moved to another state. FML

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party. The only issue was the fact I didn't have any friends to make it happen. FML

#21524278
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18046) - you deserved it (1654)

On 02/09/2016 at 12:17am - misc - by nofriends - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had to give up going to a therapist because it was too expensive and my parents couldn't afford it. Meanwhile, a girl in my class is getting a therapist for her dog. FML

#21524514
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17910) - you deserved it (1350)

On 02/09/2016 at 6:21pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got to work and saw a new desk had been setup on stilts. 'Oh, who got the standing desk?' I asked. Turns out it's for the guy in the wheelchair who was right behind me. It needs to be high so the controls of his wheelchair can fit under the desk. FML

#21522017
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I went to my grandma's house to visit. She's an elderly woman, so I asked if there was anything I could do to help. She told me to take the dog out, so I did, but one thing she didn't tell me is that her dog loves to take explosive shits everywhere. FML

#21521987
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17836) - you deserved it (1492)

On 02/02/2016 at 12:37am - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Colorado)



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