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December 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

#21314442
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31842) - you deserved it (5284)

On 12/09/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

#21314569
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31747) - you deserved it (3260)

On 12/09/2014 at 5:39pm - kids - by SickMaMa - United States (New York)

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (9087)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

#21317606
132 comments

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

#21313391
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31550) - you deserved it (2378)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:18pm - misc - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son told me the Christmas letter he wrote to Santa was a joke and he didn't want the stuff he asked for. I already bought everything. FML

#21314459
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31598) - you deserved it (3441)

On 12/09/2014 at 2:15pm - kids - by Amore (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working in a restaurant, a woman told me I was completely incompetent, was the worst hostess she'd ever seen, and that she would call my district manager non-stop until I was fired. I'd clocked in less than 10 minutes before and hadn't said a single word to her. FML

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31512) - you deserved it (2456)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (2508)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML

#21311945
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31494) - you deserved it (2062)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:44am - work - by anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (3487)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (2439)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I performed the Heimlich maneuver on a man. He cussed me out because the piece of food he was choking on was "a perfectly good portion of lobster". FML



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