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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, my drunken feminazi mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML

#21407591
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30131) - you deserved it (2626)

On 05/10/2015 at 2:00am - misc - by How's the salmon? - United States

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29945) - you deserved it (2209)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (3593)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (2022)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

#21413990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (3828)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm - intimacy - by Vexatious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

#21414899
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (1857)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29819) - you deserved it (5554)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29803) - you deserved it (4198)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

#21404993
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29723) - you deserved it (1839)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommate was making a waterproof iPhone case and decided to use my phone to test it out. It didn't work. FML

#21402720
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29684) - you deserved it (3426)

On 05/01/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by Crombinator - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

#21406350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29679) - you deserved it (2245)

On 05/07/2015 at 6:22pm - love - by alaina2001 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29583) - you deserved it (2669)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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