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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

#21459616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (1568)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:45am - love - by pontwa (man) - Australia

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

#21454601
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25891) - you deserved it (4856)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, my husband decided he would rather be with his mistress than with me while I gave birth to our first child. FML

#21456262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (2031)

On 08/15/2015 at 4:22am - love - by MissyPants - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25683) - you deserved it (2597)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML

#21453385
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (1677)

On 08/08/2015 at 2:23am - love - by single (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got fired from my part-time job, because I insisted on keeping my phone in my pocket and never using it, instead of putting it in locker without a lock or security camera, that anyone can go through. The manager found out by searching my locker for the past 3 weeks. Ironic. FML

#21452906
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25446) - you deserved it (2032)

On 08/06/2015 at 8:29pm - work - by Chesty Larue - United States

Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML

#21452786
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (2644)

On 08/06/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by ugly duckling - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML

#21452247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (2241)

On 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML

#21460521
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25293) - you deserved it (1524)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm - misc - by Schizomaniac (man) - United States

Today, while at work, I mustered up the courage to talk to a cute girl. I asked her name, to which I replied with mine and that it was nice to meet her. She followed up with a dirty look and the fact she hates anyone with my name. FML

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

#21458477
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25107) - you deserved it (2315)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I was unaware that me losing my virginity was also breakup sex. FML

#21460101
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (2301)

On 08/24/2015 at 2:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I entered a painting I'd worked on for weeks into an art competition. I won nothing. I wouldn't care so much if the guy I lost out to hadn't submitted a blank canvas and called it a "conceptual piece". FML

#21452227
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (1685)

On 08/05/2015 at 12:47pm - misc - by thekyledavid (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



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