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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in the current company I'm employed by, I have a better chance at gambling my way to the top, as opposed to working my way up. FML

#21523006
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12575) - you deserved it (1135)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:04am - money - by ferret702 - United States (Nevada)

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML

#21523102
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12236) - you deserved it (576)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML

#21523045
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11548) - you deserved it (942)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:07am - misc - by Hreid254 - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

#21523112
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9395) - you deserved it (1037)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:33pm - misc - by UUUGHHH (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

#21523085
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7912) - you deserved it (2135)

On 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

#21523145
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7665) - you deserved it (925)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Alex - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat shoved his claw up my nose and got it stuck there. FML

#21523143
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7407) - you deserved it (646)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:51pm - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Florida)

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

#21523193
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2786) - you deserved it (251)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

#21523192
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2747) - you deserved it (282)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by myusofwe (woman) - Puerto Rico



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