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October 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

#21271608
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35284) - you deserved it (15780)

On 10/05/2014 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35257) - you deserved it (3013)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35177) - you deserved it (2974)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML

#21276226
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35136) - you deserved it (3526)

On 10/12/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Mc2013 (woman) - United States

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML

#21270617
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (2716)

On 10/04/2014 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34981) - you deserved it (4345)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

#21270586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34963) - you deserved it (6260)

On 10/04/2014 at 9:57am - love - by cuteloser (man) - Australia

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

#21272255
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34942) - you deserved it (3638)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

#21271187
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (3443)

On 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34620) - you deserved it (4268)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34538) - you deserved it (3715)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34512) - you deserved it (9160)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)



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