Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47850) - you deserved it (8761)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47740) - you deserved it (3362)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47237) - you deserved it (2375)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47181) - you deserved it (3316)
On 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by trice (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46819) - you deserved it (2746)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil
Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46497) - you deserved it (3547)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by immovingout (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46014) - you deserved it (5576)
On 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm - kids - by brokedad - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45967) - you deserved it (4629)
On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45804) - you deserved it (7559)
On 05/03/2013 at 1:16am - love - by SingleStrongArm - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45851) - you deserved it (2390)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45678) - you deserved it (3498)
On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -
Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45660) - you deserved it (3063)
On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I happily told my parents that my boyfriend proposed to me last night. My dad's response? "Marry that goofy bastard and you're out of the will." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45642) - you deserved it (4309)
On 05/10/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Sankt Gallen)
Monday 20 May 2013
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