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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

#21106078
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (10699)

On 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML

#21101903
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (3252)

On 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38053) - you deserved it (8652)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38044) - you deserved it (5288)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my teacher used an online program and accused me of plagiarism. According to the program, I plagiarized my own last name. FML

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37989) - you deserved it (5412)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37874) - you deserved it (4775)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

#21112602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37863) - you deserved it (4570)

On 04/14/2014 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

#21102656
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37736) - you deserved it (5274)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my three closest online friends are the same person: my obsessive ex. I met all three before he and I even started dating. FML

#21105963
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37590) - you deserved it (4808)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

#21107057
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37464) - you deserved it (4385)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by AlonsoKold - United States (Michigan)



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