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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

#21446911
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11409) - you deserved it (19553)

On 07/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Mmm - United States (California)

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

#21443311
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11249) - you deserved it (26579)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:31am - misc - by MerryDeathmas - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I witnessed the most awful park job ever. Without thinking, I found a piece of paper and wrote on the back, "Nice park, asshole". Turns out it was an old airline boarding pass, and my name, address and phone number were neatly displayed with the message. FML

Today, a girl with a picture of One Direction as her desktop asked if I wanted to partner with her on a 70% law assignment. Two hours after saying no, I found out that she's a legal genius with a guaranteed job in the field and a near perfect GPA. FML

#21445322
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10692) - you deserved it (45986)

On 07/22/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I received my replacement debit card in the mail after losing my previous one. I've already lost my new one. FML

#21447012
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10631) - you deserved it (25266)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:55pm - money - by Again (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

#21446894
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10065) - you deserved it (17825)

On 07/25/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by elovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML

#21447619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9684) - you deserved it (17185)

On 07/26/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by sarah4241 - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML

#21445713
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9487) - you deserved it (33375)

On 07/22/2015 at 10:32pm - misc - by sucked_in - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5794) - you deserved it (455)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML

#21449629
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3138) - you deserved it (296)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:04pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3137) - you deserved it (247)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by JippedWorker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school. My parents didn't want the other parents to find out I was their kid. FML

#21449647
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2763) - you deserved it (217)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:35pm - kids - by Lonely School Kid - Canada

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

#21449663
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1206) - you deserved it (100)

On 07/30/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by EmbarrassedChild - United States



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